In the Rabbit Room

When Obama endorsed same-sex marriage…

whenobamaendorsed:

… people in NC who voted AGAINST Amendment 1 were all:

2012 Exhumed Films eX-Fest Recap

Haunt Love’s gorgeous poster for the event.

Philadelphia’s Exhumed Films may be best known for their 24-hour Horrorthon (which has run the past 5 years near the end of October), but starting in 2011 they added another long-form show in order to screen weird films that would not necessarily fit in at the Horrorthon. Dubbed eX-Fest, 2011’s lineup featured seven wildly different films: the bleak Euro-Western Cut Throats Nine, the Italian crime film No Way Out (aka Big Guns) starring Alain Delon, the utterly bizarre Italian comedy The Face with Two Left Feet (about a nerd who becomes a star for a night by impersonating John Travolta), Filipino Blaxploitation epic Savage!, hicksploitation masterpiece Redneck Miller, the legendary kung fu film 5 Fingers of Death, and Charles Band’s sex comedy musical The Other Cinderella.

Rainbeaux Smith in “The Other Cinderella.”

I KNOW, right?

Unsurprisingly, the show was a hit, and Exhumed decided to bring it back this year for “eX-Fest 2: The Revenge.” Most of the films in this year’s line-up were centered around themes of revenge, and on the whole were quite a bit darker than last year’s line-up. And honestly, as crazy and obscure as last year’s slate of films was, it was going to be damn near impossible for Exhumed to top themselves. In some ways, they did, but overall this year’s selections were considerably less obscure than last year’s, and even included (as noted by Exhumed the week leading up to the show) “one of the most infamous exploitation films ever made.” And they totally delivered on that promise, so in some ways this year’s show may have been a more accurate grindhouse marathon. Regardless, both shows were fantastic, and I can’t wait to see what these guys have in store for us next year. Until then…

Steve Sandor makes that face for about half his screen time.

Feature #1: The No Mercy Man (1973, dir. Daniel Vance)

Olie Hand (Steve Sandor, who in this film appears to be the mathematical average of Clive Owen and Michael Dudikoff) returns home from Vietnam with some serious problems, not least of which is his father’s disappointment in the fact that Olie feels bad about killing a bunch of people. Prophet (Rockne Tarkington, perhaps best known for playing the title role in Black Sampson) is looking to ditch his carnival job by planning a bank robbery and a getaway— presumably in a Winnebago that is seized and then never seen again. The paths of these two men finally cross in a bloody confrontation at the Hand ranch that leaves a pile of bodies and one No Mercy Man standing. Pretty good Vietnam homecoming/revenge film with Sid Haig in a supporting role as the head of a biker gang. Fun fact #1: Cinematographer on this film was Dean Cudney, who went on to have a long and illustrious career that continues to this day. Fun fact #2: “Production Design: Cloudberry Thunderstone.” Too amazing to be a stage name, I’m guessing. Thunderstone had one other film credit, Matt Cimber’s The Candy Tangerine Man (“Sets & Props”).

Suzy Kendall and Barry Newman get ready to rock.

Feature #2: Fear Is the Key (1973, dir. Michael Tuchner)

This seemed like an odd choice for eX-Fest, but that wasn’t necessarily a problem. This film opens with one of the most amazing, protracted car chases in film history before settling in to a tale of espionage, high-level corruption, etc. etc. based on a novel by Alistair MacLean. John Talbot (Barry Newman) infiltrates the operation of powerful villain Vyland (John Vernon) with the help of Sarah Ruthven (Suzy Kendall), the daughter of one of Vyland’s cohorts. Vyland is trying to find someone to pilot an experimental submarine for nefarious purposes, and Talbot is out for a thoroughly-planned revenge. A little long and a bit too serious, but that car chase is seriously amazing, and there’s some nerve-wracking tension in the final scenes of the film. Look out for Ben Kingsley— with a full head of thick, black hair!— as Vyland’s ruthless right-hand man.

Inspector Leng (Jimmy Wang Yu) delivers another shock to those square Australian police.

Feature #3: The Man from Hong Kong (1975, dir. Brian Trenchard-Smith)

Here we go! The program tipped this one right away— “Ozploitation/Kung Fu” is not a crowded subgenre— and those of us in the audience who knew what we were in for were immediately very excited. This is basically Rush Hour twenty years early, only in Australia, and instead of a wise-cracking cop partner, our imported hero Inspector Fang Sing Leng (Jimmy Wang Yu) just puts the local boys to shame and beds some fine Australian ladies while on the trail of crime lord Jack Wilton (George Lazenby!). This one’s got it all: kung fu, stuff blowing up, paragliding, romantic montages, goofy Australian cops with awful hair, and the utterly hilarious sight of gigantic George Lazenby laying waste to a roomful of his poor martial arts students. They look like children standing next to Lazenby, who has no problem beating the living shit out of them to prove which ones are tough enough to take on Inspector Leng. Plenty of, ahem, politically incorrect (i.e. “totally racist”) jokes date the film and add to the “what the hell am I watching” factor of this hugely entertaining action/comedy.

Gotta love the balls on these people for actually mentioning “Straw Dogs!”

Feature #4: Death Weekend (1976 , dir. William Fruet)

I’d never seen this one before, but I have been eyeing a 16mm print of it on Ebay recently, so I was pleased to get a chance to see it and know that I have absolutely no interest in owning a 16mm print of it. This was pretty easily the low point of the show for me, although I don’t necessarily think it’s a terrible movie. However, compared to the three films that came before it and the three after, Death Weekend was easily the weakest of the bunch. It’s a pretty standard post-Straw Dogs/Last House on the Left knockoff revenge film, although with a few interesting tweaks. Lecherous dentist Harry (Chuck Shamata) is driving model Diane (Brenda Vaccaro!) to his isolated house by a lake for the weekend. When Harry lets Diane drive, the pair are menaced by a group of screaming thugs in another car, led by Lep (Don Stroud!). Diane forces Lep’s car off the road, and in return Lep swears vengeance. Once Harry and Diane reach the house, Harry is revealed to be a potentially dangerous sexual predator himself, but he looks positively harmless in comparison to Lep and his gang of cronies. They menace Harry and Diane for a while until the situation escalates and (spoiler alert if you’ve never seen a revenge movie) Diane eventually murders them all. Although, weirdly, is that some regret for what could have been with Lep? Seriously, is it? The ending is really, really bizarre. A mean-spirited little thriller that plays a lot like a (1970s) PG-rated I Spit on Your Grave.

Henry Silva and Gianni Garko enjoy a nice drink. Somehow it’s not J&B.

Feature #5: Wipeout! (aka The Boss) (1973 , dir. Fernando di Leo)

Henry Silva makes a strong case for being the biggest badass in film history in just about every film he’s in, but perhaps nowhere more so than The Boss. This is a film that begins with Silva assassinating 20 high-ranking rival mafiosi (and some very unlucky security guards) before the opening credits even roll! Silva plays Lanzetta, an ambitious mid-level family member under Don Giuseppe D’Aniello (Claudio Nicastro), who in turn works under the powerful Don Corrasco (Richard Conte!). Lanzetta’s massive assassination nearly wipes out the family of Don Antonino Attardi aside from his right-hand man Cocchi (Pier Paolo Capponi), who declares war on D’Aniello by kidnapping D’Aniello’s free-lovin’ daughter Rina (Antonia Santilli). Watching from the sidelines is corrupt cop Commissario Torri (Gianni Garko, Sartana himself!) who hopes to bring order back to the chaotic underworld by restoring the old mafia guard. Once all these pieces are in place, Wipeout! earns its name in a series of double-, triple-, quadruple-, etc.-crosses that become nearly impenetrable. Lanzetta mows his way through what seems like half the population of Italy before the film abruptly ends. With a killer score by Luis Bacalov (a prolific composer who scored some of di Leo’s other films, as well as the great spaghetti western Grand Duel, whose theme was used in Kill Bill) and plenty of action, Wipeout! is exhausting but exciting and well worth a look.

Ramrod (Wings Hauser) is not happy.

Feature #6: Vice Squad (1982, dir. Gary Sherman)

I was really excited to see this one, as I’ve missed it when it’s played as a midnight movie at the Music Box Theatre here in Chicago (director Gary Sherman is a local). It certainly did not disappoint, and its thick atmosphere of sleaze made it a perfect choice for this show. Is there a more appropriate theme song in any film than Wings Hauser’s crazed performance of “Neon Slime?” Opening with a title card that the events in the film were based on real reports from the Los Angeles police, Vice Squad immediately plunges the viewer into the seedy underbelly of Hollywood with “Neon Slime” pounding away over a montage of junkies, pimps, distressingly young hookers, distressingly old hookers, leather-outfitted guys on motorcycles, and on and on. We are then introduced to Princess (Season Hubley), a freelance hooker who works to support herself and her young daughter. After sending her daughter off on a bus to stay with her grandma, Princess goes directly to work. Meanwhile, her friend Ginger (Nina Blackwood) is hiding out from her vicious pimp Ramrod (Wings Hauser in a terrifying, career-defining performance). Before Princess can reach her, Ramrod gets to Princess and beats her to death, bringing him to the attention of the L.A. vice squad’s Detective Tom Walsh (Gary Swanson). Walsh convinces Princess to act as bait to arrest Ramrod, but when Ramrod escapes police custody he’s on a mission to kill her. The film then follows Princess as she performs a series of unusual tricks, Ramrod as he tracks her down, and Walsh and the vice squad as they desperately attempt to find either Princess or Ramrod before it’s too late. A justified cult classic, and one of Gary Sherman’s best films, this one needs a Blu-ray release ASAP.

Ilsa (Dyanne Thorn) speaks harshly and carries a very mean-looking stick.

Feature #7: Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975, dir. Don Edmonds)

There are some actors and parts that, for better or worse, were simply made for each other. And there is no question that one of the greatest examples of this is Dyanne Thorn as the title character in Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS. It is literally impossible to imagine any other actress who could have fit this part and this role so perfectly. It’s arguably worth watching the film— which, let’s be honest, is completely indefensible— just for Thorn’s amazing performance. She really goes for it, embracing the reprehensible character wholeheartedly. This particular print was in rough shape, and anyone who hadn’t seen Ilsa before this event may have gotten a slightly incorrect impression of just how nasty the film actually is. Aside from the pink color and film noise, it’s obvious that some handsy projectionists had snipped out a lot of their favorite frames to keep for themselves, causing this print to lose a good amount of nudity and (more disturbingly) a major chunk of the film’s more gruesomely violent images. Still, there’s no such thing as a version of Ilsa that doesn’t make you feel like taking a shower afterward, and the battered (and incredibly rare) print was a true gift to the hardcore exploitation cinephiles in attendance.

Freedom, Fun and Fine Transportation: A Brief Guide to Vansploitation Cinema Part 1